


in loving you, i lose myself

by keithbrogane



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Keith angst, M/M, im currently going through this and i don’t know how to deal with it so here i am, im sorry for making you mean lance ily, keith loves lance too much, kinda hurt comfort, klangst, not beta proofed we die like the soldiers shiro wants us to be, this is a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21562651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keithbrogane/pseuds/keithbrogane
Summary: keith kogane loves lance mcclain. he loves lance with his entire being, and it’s destroying him - because all lance wants is his body.
Relationships: keith / lance - Relationship
Kudos: 24





	in loving you, i lose myself

lance’s lips curled up into small grin as he ran his hands up and down keith’s sides. his black-haired boyfriend chewed on the inside of his cheek absentmindedly, shivering gently under lance’s touch. 

his hands wandered further, to the waistband on his boxers when keith froze. lance tilted his head slightly, one eyebrow raised. 

keith scrunched his nose up, wincing to himself. he knew what he needed to say; he just didn’t think he had it in him to get those words out of his mouth.

“i can’t do this anymore.” he murmured quietly, screwing his eyes closed so he didn’t have to look at lance’s reaction. 

the cuban male was taken aback to say the least. what? keith has wanted this before and asked for it before, so why wouldn’t he want it now? he stopped, removing his hands from his boyfriend’s body and motioning for keith to continue speaking. 

“i love you so much that it scares me. i cant do this. it’s too big and it scares me. i feel like im never gonna be enough or fit what you want me to be, and i don’t always want to do what you want me to do and i KNOW that you say it’s okay if i’m not in the mood for sex or if i don’t want to do a certain thing, it just doesn’t feel it. i’m so fucking far out of my comfort zones. you don’t know that i’ve been feeling like this because i’m too pussy to tell you. i love you and i feel like i’m losing myself. i cant do this. im sorry. im so tired. none of this is your fault, please don’t feel likes it’s your fault. i’m just not capable of doing relationships. i’m too afraid of emotion and you don’t deserve me being like this. you deserve so much better and i love you so much and i’m scared and i’m sorry.” 

it took a moment for keith’s rambled words to settle in. but when they did, lance’s face contorted into a sneer. the tanned boy pulled away, shooting a glare at keith. 

“so? you’re gonna just stop all of this now? you’re a real bitch, you know that right?” he snarked, reaching for his shirt and grabbing it, tugging it on harshly. 

keith nodded. it was all he had the energy to do. he was exhausted, so tired of loving lance’s voice, his smile, his laugh, his face, his personality to only be used for his body. they were dating, right? then shouldn’t lance love him too?

probably not. keith was unloveable. the foster homes had told him that. everyone had told him that. even his mother left him, for god’s sake. nobody could ever love him. or need him. or want him. 

all he wanted was a place in the world, a place where he was important and mattered; but when lance left his keys on the bedside table, slammed the door after himself and swore to never come back, all keith could want was to cry. 


End file.
